


Startling Clarity

by Xx_Yvonne_xX



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Hospitalization, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2019-10-24 04:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17697359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xx_Yvonne_xX/pseuds/Xx_Yvonne_xX
Summary: "When he opens his eyes again, jade and glimmering, the boy who had fallen asleep by his bed had looked tremendously happy. He hadn't known why, but he looked oddly familiar, like they had known each other from another lifetime, like they had risked lives just to ensure survival."ORThe aftermath of an alternate ending, where Ash emerges alive -- with a price too high to pay.





	1. Illusions

Sometimes, Aslan drifts in and out of consciousness. 

He hears a couple talking alongside a child that occasionally bawled.

He hears the distinct sound of people from so long ago. A jagged tooth, a joyous expression, a leader, never afraid to follow in his footsteps.

He thinks he feels things.

In the blur of the sickeningly white and empty room, he thinks he feels someone reach out to him. It's like a scene from decades ago, but his eyes are scrunched up and he can't, cannot remember. It aches, plagues his mind to, racks his thoughts to, but he can't make himself come to do it.

He sees things, faint.

Shapes and sizes morphed in nothingness. At first they were all together, then slowly they weren't anymore. He could see what he was lying on, could see his own vulnerable body shielded in white blankets, could see his fingers clipped with something that monitored his heartbeat.

It hurts to think.

So he forgets.

Forgets the world he promised to give. Forgets the lingering touches and sweet caresses as he heals. Forgets the brutal scars and swirls of nasty mixes tainted in red.

He emerges renewed.

When he opens his eyes again, jade and glimmering, the boy who had fallen asleep by his bed had looked tremendously happy. He hadn't known why, but he looked oddly familiar, like they had known each other from another lifetime, like they had risked lives just to ensure survival. 

The boy had called for the others, too, who came in with amazed, stunned expressions that went over their tired façade. Their chattery voices should make him feel warm, but they didn't. Instead, it's like isolating a solid wall, placing him on the other side from where they are.

Because he doesn't know who they are referring to.

The person they know... This person he is... Weren't the same.

The boy was crying, hugging him tight.

He waits until the background noise quietens, until the beating of his own heart rose above the chords, irratic and making him break into cold sweat.

Waits until their stares are upon him, now.

Waits for any sort of confirmation from them. And when none came, he spoke, warily and with a drily crooked, flat voice, 

"I don't recognise any of you."


	2. Jittery

" _I don't recognise any of you_."

Time seemed to freeze afterward like it was a bomb that Aslan had dropped. The people surrounding him had just gaped, wide-eyed, unable to comprehend if he had said what he just said. 

" _What_?" The woman spoke up first, distraught, the kid she was holding seemingly faltering as Aslan gingerly sat up. 

And then it blew into a catastrophe. Everybody was speaking at once, and the words they were using all held a frantic tone to it, not understanding. It was only after minutes had the doctor shown up and, in a frenzy, calmed them down. He explained and drawled on and on about how this would only be temporary, reassuring the crowd.

Aslan was given no consolation on whatever was happening. He watched as the group thought whatever they wanted to think. It was like he was thrown into this mess and nobody wanted him to be here. Everyone wanted _Ash_ , the cool gang leader, or so he'd heard.

But he isn't Ash. He remembers nothing but vague snippets of him, and that was all he kept of the other.

The crowd spoke to him in English, but it just seemed like a language he didn't particularly understand. They called him Ash, told him it would be alright - although he wasn't sure if they were reassuring themselves or if they were reassuring _him_. In their eyes were bright uncertainty, and most importantly, fear that their _Ash_ wouldn't return.

The group slowly dissipated as time passed, leaving him feeling devoid of any emotion. Their greetings and blessings for him to get better seemed like a stab in the chest, and no one offered any explanation for him. It was just that he could turn back into _Ash_ in no time. It'd be easy, and it'd just be a quick goodbye to Aslan. Nobody needed him here. 

He cradles the fruit basket someone gave him, suddenly feeling very empty.

"... Uh, hello." 

Snapping his head up, he found himself meeting the gaze of a photographer and a boy who looks younger than he is. They're smiling a little awkwardly and out-of-place. 

"You don't remember me, so I will introduce myself again," His smile was bright as he gingerly stepped closer, his movements very gentle and considering. Aslan allows it for a moment, evaluating him cautiously. "My name is Eiji. Oku-- _Eiji_ Okumura."

"Aslan." He took up the handshake warily, eyeing him like a cat. Somehow, he got the vibes that the boy was different, and it wasn't just because he was from another country. 

"Um, you are okay with me staying here, right?" Eiji seems a little flustered, noticing the lack of speech from Aslan besides what was asked of him.

He looked down and hugged the fruit basket tighter, fingers almost white from wrapping his arms around the woody material. "Yeah, I guess." His voice sounded different. Hollow and deep and menacing. "If that's okay-- I want you to tell me more about Ash."

Eiji took a quick glance at the photographer, who nodded and moved out of the door, shutting it firmly behind him. "How old are you, actually?" He asked, raising an eyebrow as he set the basket on the desk beside him. "You look like a kid."

"I am older than you," Eiji retorts, sitting down. His expression changed to one of surprise for a moment, before it flitted to a small smile. "Well... I guess it all started when Ibe-san and I came to this country..."

* * *

"... So, you had a lot of adventures together with Ash." Aslan concludes, listening keenly to what he was saying. "To you, he's... Your best friend." 

"You can say that." Eiji -- who still doesn't look older than he was -- beamed. Aslan leaned a little forward, examining him closely. He seemed like the type to be unguarded at most times, and he looked too gullible, his fingers too soft to have been holding a gun. Aslan searched his face for any traces of fear or worry like the others, but came up with none. He leaned back with a huff.

"Do you like him?" The words were out before he could control it. 

" _Eh!_??"

"I can see why he would. I feel like protecting you even though I've barely known you. You're soft, and fragile, and you make me want to hug you."

"I can hug you _if_ you want." Eiji snorts lamely, his face a reddened mess. "And I'm not soft. You taught me how to fire a gun."

"And you missed, spectacularly." Aslan adds on with a smug grin, startled when he realises what he's just said. 

But Eiji wasn't like the others. He didn't exclaim it out loud that he remembered something, ruining the moment, he just sat up a little straighter. "You said it was a great shot." He begins, a little careful. 

Aslan stares at him. He tries to squint his eyes and -- and remember the scene, but he doesn't. It feels like he's trapped here without memories, with just this body and what he's learnt from Eiji. What time had it been then? When was it that he had to fire a gun? _Why_? 

"Ash!" Eiji was calling him from afar. He sunk further into the bedsheets, nails digging into the fruit basket he was still holding, as if clawing out the truth from it. He pants, breaths haggard, his brain a foggy mess. 

He abruptly remembers something. It was like a vision worming its way back into his head, but it made his head ache more than ever. He kicks at his bedsheets wildly, hands grasping his blonde locks of hair, unable to control the pain that keeps jabbing at him, consistently there.

There's a flash of images digging into his skull. He pounds at it, at the whirling memories trying to pry their way back into his head. He sees Eiji, sitting in front of him with a chessy grin, he sees himself staring at foreign Japanese words scribbled onto a paper before him. 

And then-- _and then_ \-- 

 _Blood_.

"Ash!" Eiji was hugging him, the sensation overwhelmimg his senses, drawing him back. He finds himself pulled into a tight embrace, Eiji's hands squeezing his middle, chanting his name over and over like it was a mantra. 

And that makes him snap back abruptly, realising there were hot tears rolling down his cheeks, that there were strands of hair he'd yanked sitting in his palms, blood from where he had been sinking his nails into. He _breathes_ , in and out, shaking so hard he's almost like a lone leaf caught in the rain. 

"E... Eiji." He mumbles, pupils darting, struggling to calm down. "I'm okay. I think." He wipes his tears with the back of his palm, managing a crooked, trembling smile. "I think I remembered a little bit of something."

"Gosh, I don't fucking  _care,_ Ash!" The older was staring at him through hurt eyes, his voice wrecked with sobs. "You don't deserve to be hurt again by your past. I don't... I don't want you to be like _this_ everytime you remember something." 

"You... Don't?" _But what about Ash? Don't you want him to come back any longer?_ A tiny voice in his head challenged, but he pushed it away.

" _No_! This --" He gestures around him, "-- You being alive and _here_ is enough." Eiji's eyes were so earnest it had hurt him to see it.

"... Oh."

Maybe the pain wasn't so bad. Maybe things wouldn't feel so awry and he wouldn't feel so jarring and vulnerable if he had Eiji. Aslan swallowed, nodding, accepting another hug. 

"Okay."


End file.
